yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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