problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Non-Jews are for practice
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
