You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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