does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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