hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
