I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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