i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
