He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
