Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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