Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You need a sexual gate keeper
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
