508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
