Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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