We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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