at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
