I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
