We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
