I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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