It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize