There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
