Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
