I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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