Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
