We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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