I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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