just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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