dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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