I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
