You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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