oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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