Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
