I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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