dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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