I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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