he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
