That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
