We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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