he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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