I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
