3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
