I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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