Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
