so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
