Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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