You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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