just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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