I don't think brook has ever known best
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
did you just send me my own nude
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
