Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
