dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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