is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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