Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
that is very illegal...i love you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
